Older employee tells her young coworker that her sweatshirt is ugly and disappointing: 'She is a bitter woman who needs to be quiet.'

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Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
May 3, 2026 7:45 AM EDT

What is her problem?

There is something so convenient about wearing a uniform, whether it be for school or work. You don't have to think about what you wear in the morning or if it's appropriate. All you have to do is put on the same thing you wear every day and get about your business. If your job demands that you dress in a very specific way, you might have to buy a whole new wardrobe just for your work life! That's sure to be tough on your wallet. What if you leave or get fired after a year? Then you have a whole closet full of clothes that don't really represent you at all that you feel forced to keep, because what if your next job also demands that you dress like a boring drip? 

When buying a professional wardrobe or donning a Catholic school uniform, there are a few little things you can do to incorporate your own personal style into outfits that you wouldn't wear on the weekends. You can style your hair in a special, beautiful way that makes you feel confident. You can wear accessories that highlight your unique aesthetic so you don't feel like Dilbert. One of my favorite ways to express myself through fashion is to wear bright colors. I love everything yellow and pink, and I would be devastated if my workplace suddenly said that brightly-colored clothes were no longer permitted in the office. 

The older woman in this story has no business telling anyone how to dress. She told her coworker that her Oasis sweatshirt is ugly and disappointing. She is not HR, but rather a busybody who takes more pleasure in gossiping than anything else. Her coworker is understandably frustrated and desperate for a new seating arrangement. 

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  • Woman is drinking coffee while working at her desk
    via Ben Iwara (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • My coworker told me my sweatshirt is ugly and disappointing. What should I do?

    I wore a nice sweatshirt with the band Oasis on the front. I'm a young black female and my cubicle neighbor is an elderly black woman. She looked at my sweatshirt and asked why would I wear it.
    via u/Practical_Sun8137
  • She said I'm disappointing because the people on the front are white. And I should take it off. I was just blown away because of what she said. I told her well I like my sweatshirt and I don't care if they are white. She just kept saying I'm a disappointment.
    via u/Practical_Sun8137
  • She gossips about people 24/7 and she thinks I don't know she gossips about me too but I just don't care enough to confront her. It's not worth it. She's r cist and only wants me to associate with black people. She calls
    via u/Practical_Sun8137
  • Two women appear to be discussing work at an office desk
    via Ben Iwara (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • it looking out for me since I'm young and I don't have much knowledge about our history. Like I'm honestly so sick of her I just want to quit or at least moved to a different cubicle. The things she says are absolutely disgusting.
    via u/Practical_Sun8137
  • Like who are you to tell me I'm disappointing for wearing a sweatshirt with a white band??
    via u/Practical_Sun8137
  • Asil228 Coworkers are not true friends. Once you leave within 30 days with very rare exceptions you will never connect again. She is a bitter woman who needs to be quiet. Wear what you want and be proud of it. Black, white, green or blue. It's a shirt not a protest.
    via u/Asil228
  • sminkypinky999 "My sweatshirt may be ugly, but it can be changed, can you?"
    via u/sminkypinky999
  • Much Development7084 You're doing the right thing. I'd also ignore her, a known r cist gossip. That would be like saying that all white people wearing Hendrix shirts are disappointments to other white people. The stupid, it hurts.
    via u/MuchDevelopment7084
  • morbidnerd Speak to her only using Oasis quotes going forward Reply ↑ 18 ThisCharmingDan99 Maybeeeeeeee
    via u/morbidnerd & u/ThisCharmingDan99
  • heartinspace Boomers be boomers
    via u/heartinspace
  • AMasculine You could technically report her for harassment but since she is also a female there is little to no consequences.
    via u/AMasculine
  • Practical Sun8137 OP I've thought about reporting her so many times.
    via u/Practical_Sun8137
  • Mynoseisgrowingold Hey now, don't look back in anger
    via u/Mynoseisgrowingold
  • cranberries87 Taking race out of the equation: old people can often be a handful. They are often fixated on old ideas, have poor boundaries, and poor filters. They often feel free to discuss things that are currently unacceptable in today's world, but were accepted during their time (weight for example; old people love to fixate on weight, to tell you that you're getting fat, and discuss weight loss endlessly). Not all of them, but many can be like this. Sounds like she's one of them - her behav
    via u/cranberries87
  • I would go the professional route. Don't try to debate. Document her comments. Calmly state your boundaries via email ("Your comments about my clothing and my beliefs were highly offensive. Moving forward, please refrain from conversation unless it is focused on work”). If this doesn't cease her behavior, re-send the email and tag higher-ups. Also, it wouldn't hurt to request a new cubicle.
    via u/cranberries87
  • Contemporary loft office interior
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • prada 1989 Is a band tee sweatshirt professional in an office setting though?? Think about that..
    via u/prada1989
  • Practical_Sun8137 OP We're allowed to on certain days :(
    via u/Practical_Sun8137

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oasis dress code employee coworkers sweatshirt old people unprofessional cubicle
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